Golf Limerick Poems » phil mickelson

British Open a Yawner

Mike — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 02:03:57 +0000

I was a little disappointed with the the British Open. I was hoping for more wind and rain (or maybe it’s because I lost my bet). Either way, without the weather, the course is defenseless. Guys were driving the greens on many par 4’s. It also didn’t help that there was no drama at the end. Oh well, it’s still deserves limericks as a Major so I hope you enjoy.

McIlroy’s game was ablaze
As his opening round did amaze,
But from lofty heights
Reality bites
When he and the lead parted ways.

Although Tiger wasn’t despairing
To change out your putter is daring.
He tried a new stick
But changed it back quick
As the club was more like a red herring.

Though Phil had his problems quite early
He’s always polite and not surly.
But when all he can say
Is “it’s fun just to play”,
You know that his score was quite burly.

John Daly shot out of the gate
But one round is all he’d create.
You’ll have to admit
He’s looking quite fit
But his score is not tracking his weight.

Oosthuizen won going away.
“Who’s he?” is what many still say.
But a win for this fella
And a birthday for Mandela
Make an all South African day.

2010 U.S. Open Limericks

Mike — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 22:30:22 +0000

It was a tough U.S. Open tournament this year. Pebble Beach was setup with hard, fast greens that made getting the ball close very difficult, especially on the back nine. All the big names faltered into the finish. Graham McDowell faltered just a little less to take home the championship.

Phil had his chances to win it
And tried on the front nine to skin it.
But he three putted twice
And his score paid the price
So by end he was no longer in it.

Seems Tiger was thought a contender
His Saturday round such a splendor.
But a front nine plus three
Aborted his spree
And the back nine then forced his surrender.

Ernie had started off strong
And at one point was leading the throng
But a crash and a burn
On three holes at the turn
Saw the Championship waving ’so long’.

Who in the world is Havret (Have-ray)
And where did he find his good play?
He bested a crew
Of notables who
By rights should have blown him away.

In the end ’twas a lad named McDowell
Who refused to just throw in the towel.
This week he was gifted
So pints were all lifted
And you could hear Northern Ireland howl.

Graham McDowell

More pictures…

Sloppy Winter Golf is Still Golf

Mike — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:14:39 +0000

It’s been a wet couple of weeks but we managed some golf anyway. The biggest problem was the sloppy condition of the course. Any shot landing in deep grass was plugged! The other problem was…

This winter golf leaves my game flat
As the ball often lands with a splat.
But the worst thing of all
Is when you can’t see the ball,
‘Cause the fog makes you blind as a bat.

I didn’t let the conditions or a bad hangover affect my game last weekend…

His putting stroke let him accrue
As hole after hole it grew,
’til a putt at the last
Blew away the past
For a new dot record, twenty two!

My index is edging up and Mike’s is edging down but I think that trend is about to change…

His index appeared to be closing
But reality showed it’s just posing.
One record score
Will not close the door.
To catch me he’s still presupposing.

There was a lot of whining by Scott McCarron about Phil’s wedges. I have a message for Scott…

To much whining about clubs Phil uses
And “spirit of the rule” he abuses.
If it’s legal I say
Let the man play
With any damn club that he chooses!

Finally, one of our ’significant others’ still has trouble with some of the general aspects of the game…

On the green he had tried to convey
We were just about done for the day.
“We’re on eighteen my dear”
To which she answered with cheer,
“How many do you have left to play?”