Today’s post goes out to Jeffery, golf buddy extraordinaire, who celebrates his birthday today. He’s still south of fifty…but not by much, and he’s still single…but not by much, and his game is still improving…but not by much. Happy birthday and enjoy your limericks!
Jeffery’s birthday’s today so we’ll flatter
His golf game and try not to shatter,
His Senior Tour yearning
As soon he’ll be learning,
It’s his hairline and penis that matter.
The only one better at avoiding the altar is George Clooney…
Not yet fifty but he’s getting near
So he’s downshifted, maybe a gear.
Still driving that Porsche
And single of course,
But for Farah we’d think he was queer.
and his wrist action is all wrong but he just won’t listen….
In our foursome, he’s youngest of all
So why can’t he hit a long ball?
Although you may mock
We think it’s his cock,
He’s not getting length ’cause it’s small.
This weather is cutting into my game. Then again, maybe it’ll cool Mike off. I’m all for supporting my golf buddies to shoot good scores but not when they take my money…
A mean is an average that’s mean
‘Cause it’s cruel when it falls from extreme.
Mike’s hitting it well
But it’s time that will tell
If he’s really a golfing machine.
After getting beat a couple of times I needed an excuse and, of course, I found one…
I was getting some trouble from Mike
Whose swing was producing a strike
That made the ball fly,
While I struggled to try
And compensate for missing a spike.
Here’s a great quote from Don who makes his limerick debut ..”that shot was a Linda Ronstadt”…
He hit hard and the ball really flew
When it bounced and kept rolling he knew,
Upon reaching his ball
He’d out drove them all
And was heard whistling ‘Blue Bayou’.
Finally, I wish I had a camera last weekend as the combo sunrise, crescent moon was downright poetic…
We teed just before the sun rose
As a crescent moon hung in repose.
We guessed at the flight
With a golfer’s delight
And will follow where ever it goes.
Time to usher in the new year with some more golf limericks. The weather’s been a little wet but not enough to stop golfing. As for you folks in the mid-west or east and caught in the grip of winter…I’ll think about you, albeit briefly, on the first tee tomorrow.
We all need golfing goals for the new year…
Here’s hoping your handicap’s low
And with practice your skill starts to show.
But what’ll bring the most cheer
To my game this new year
Is to see how my dot* winnings grow!
* putting betting game
This was funny! We gave Jeffery a tip and watched him almost miss the ball on the next tee…and no drinking was involved.
We tried to give Jeffery some tips
On his swing about clearing his hips.
But when he near whiffed
He got rather miffed
Said ” I’ll thank you to stifle your quips”.
I was thinking about going tee-to-green with limericks and this is what I came up with. My favorite is the last one!
The first tee is a nerve wracking shot
That can twist on your nerves like a knot.
This stark comprehension
Will stymie retention
And the golf swing you knew, is forgot.
He hunkered down over the shot
Preparing to swing but forgot,
All of the liquor
Makes everything quicker
Now his swing’s looking more like a swat.
His shot over water looked grim
As he had to stay under a limb.
“I’ve just the ticket,
Hit hard and skip it
Then hope it don’t go for a swim”.
The cup is an object of desire
Like a woman in scanty attire.
They both promise pleasure
In ways beyond measure
But you’ll need a good ‘line’ to acquire.
