Golf Limerick Poems » Rules

Sloppy Winter Golf is Still Golf

Mike — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:14:39 +0000

It’s been a wet couple of weeks but we managed some golf anyway. The biggest problem was the sloppy condition of the course. Any shot landing in deep grass was plugged! The other problem was…

This winter golf leaves my game flat
As the ball often lands with a splat.
But the worst thing of all
Is when you can’t see the ball,
‘Cause the fog makes you blind as a bat.

I didn’t let the conditions or a bad hangover affect my game last weekend…

His putting stroke let him accrue
As hole after hole it grew,
’til a putt at the last
Blew away the past
For a new dot record, twenty two!

My index is edging up and Mike’s is edging down but I think that trend is about to change…

His index appeared to be closing
But reality showed it’s just posing.
One record score
Will not close the door.
To catch me he’s still presupposing.

There was a lot of whining by Scott McCarron about Phil’s wedges. I have a message for Scott…

To much whining about clubs Phil uses
And “spirit of the rule” he abuses.
If it’s legal I say
Let the man play
With any damn club that he chooses!

Finally, one of our ’significant others’ still has trouble with some of the general aspects of the game…

On the green he had tried to convey
We were just about done for the day.
“We’re on eighteen my dear”
To which she answered with cheer,
“How many do you have left to play?”

Ya’ Filthy Animal!

Mike — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:43:36 +0000

Strange but true. I just carried the pond with my second shot on #11 at Summit and drove up to the green to take my chip shot. As I scattered the geese I noticed my ball was gone! Some damn goose stole my ball…and I have witnesses. I was then informed that I must take a penalty stroke. Filthy animals! There was only one thing left to do…..

Here’s a story that sounds quite bazaar
But my partners had seen from afar.
A goose with a ‘tude,
Stole my ball! I was screwed.
Then I dropped it and chipped in for par.

This one is for Jeffery who was MIA today…

As Mike and I waited to tee,
While watching he had to agree.
This guy played slow.
Wouldn’t you know,
He was more deliberate than me.

This Week in Limericks

Mike — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 21:28:06 +0000

The minute I recited this last line to myself, I knew it had to become a limerick…

When our friend couldn’t play we’d chafe
Though his tee shots always would strafe
Anything in play
Except the fairway
At least the water fowl were safe.

What’s golf without the occasional confusion over the rules…

A provisional had been played
‘Cause his tee shot had been sprayed
When lo and behold
He found where it rolled
And rejoiced at the par he made.

There’s no accounting for bad behavior…

My partner was falling behind
So I setup to hit and save time
Then over my head
His ball flew instead
His etiquette crossed over the line.

Finally, a nod to a new member of the ‘fourth’ list…

We had a new fourth this time
An old colleague who played just fine
I’m not sure when
But we’ll invite him again
‘Cause his score was one more than mine.