When his short putt just slipped by the hole In frustration he lost all control And gouged out the green On number fourteen, Like something carved out by a mole.

Embarrassed, [...]]]> Golf is a game of skill and frustration…not necessarily in that order. Even the most mild-mannered of temperament can be brought down to new lows…

When his short putt just slipped by the hole
In frustration he lost all control
And gouged out the green
On number fourteen,
Like something carved out by a mole.

Embarrassed, he wished to implore
His etiquette had been heretofore
Exemplary in kind.
So we’re more inclined
To speak of this event…nevermore.

You gotta love playing ‘dots’ (putting betting game) except when you’re not putting well. On the other hand, sometimes dots are all you’ve got…

Here’s a maxim you should not ignore:
‘Your dots don’t depend on your score’.
Just missing the green
Is most often seen
As the road to dot winnings galore.

Mike has graciously paid off his bet that was two years in the making. He got within .5 index points to surpassing me but then ‘regression to the mean’ took over. Now he’s looking to reset his ‘mean’.

Our Labor Day bet is concluded
But my victory hasn’t precluded,
Mike’s desire to proclaim
A superior game
So a rematch has now been included.

Jeffery, Jeffery, Jeffery. So close and yet so far. At least he didn’t shoot another 92.

When Jeffery had found he’s on track
To post his best score on the back,
He started to swoon
When he counted too soon,
So his old record still is intact.

We had a new player this weekend who proceeded to drop every putt in sight and take our money. We’ll still invite him back because he was a good fellow… and because we want our money BACK!

A fellow whose name, Nick ‘Banana’
Blew in like an old tramontana
To take our dot money
Like a bear stealing honey.
He’s certainly no Pollyanna.

We got in the next day at eleven, A red-eye to reach golfer heaven. We’re in Myrtle beach With [...]]]> Getting to Myrtle Beach from the San Francisco Bay area is such a pain. It’s two legs minimum and this year a red-eye in order to use frequent flyer miles. Of course, once we’re there, all is forgiven…

We got in the next day at eleven,
A red-eye to reach golfer heaven.
We’re in Myrtle beach
With my first round a peach,
I carded a seventy-seven.

Myrtle Beach is all about golfing and drinking, and drinking and golfing, and golfing and drinking, and…you get the picture…

We don’t play for applause or the cheers
But instead, the music to our ears,
Is popping the top
Outside the snack shop
On a fresh, new iced bag-o-beers.

For some reason, Myrtle Beach always brings out the theatrics in Jeff. This year it was a bitter dispute with a hybrid…

It soared thru the air with such height
‘Tis a shame it was such a short flight.
But clubs cannot fly
And I heard no good-bye
As it splashed and then sunk out of sight.

Mike’s last putter lesson from Stevie paid big dividends in Myrtle although we also suspect his Dad’s unfailing attendance at church…

Mike’s putter this week was on fire
As if from a new found desire.
But always there’s mention
Of divine intervention,
Was it Stevie or someone else higher?

Thanks to Mark who suggested this topic. I’m quite proud of this one…

First Tiger and Hank had a breakup
And then Mike and Joey, a shakeup.
But when Jeff said good-bye
To his bottle of Skyy,
He just bought another to makeup.

Mike’s lesson brought changes into view With putting the object of review. He replaced his old poke With a new smoother stroke And tied my ‘dot’ record twenty two.

Jeffery’s game is [...]]]> I thought that Mike might stumble after his swing coach, Joey, moved to Bend, Oregon but then along comes Stevie to give him a putting lesson and…

Mike’s lesson brought changes into view
With putting the object of review.
He replaced his old poke
With a new smoother stroke
And tied my ‘dot’ record twenty two.

Jeffery’s game is on fire from tee to…..the middle of the fairway. Anywhere near the green and the demons are set loose. We’ve a new phrase for when you’re around the green in two and walk off with a seven…”he sure Jeffery’d that hole!”.

Jeff’s tee ball we’ve started ignoring
Though straight down the middle they’re soaring.
Until he lays claim
To a better short game
They won’t do much good for his scoring.

One of our playing partners said he used to be called ‘twinkle toes’ with a soccer ball. Given his current ’stature’ I had trouble reconciling that…and it certainly didn’t carry over to his golf game. That said, he’s good company and knows his beer!

He claimed a nickname ‘twinkle toes’
From the soccer ball skill that he shows.
But with a golf ball
He’s not that at all,
His twinkle is sprinkled with woes.

We’ll be off on our annual Myrtle Beach golf extravaganza next week. Nothing but eating, sleeping and golfing with occasional forays into town to uncover entertainment (note to wives, it’s just Bingo).

It’s Myrtle time first week of June
Where we golf whether sun or monsoon.
With mornings sedate
After lunch we create
A golf  ‘party’ round afternoon.

This winter golf leaves my game flat As the ball often lands with a splat. But the worst thing of all Is [...]]]> It’s been a wet couple of weeks but we managed some golf anyway. The biggest problem was the sloppy condition of the course. Any shot landing in deep grass was plugged! The other problem was…

This winter golf leaves my game flat
As the ball often lands with a splat.
But the worst thing of all
Is when you can’t see the ball,
‘Cause the fog makes you blind as a bat.

I didn’t let the conditions or a bad hangover affect my game last weekend…

His putting stroke let him accrue
As hole after hole it grew,
’til a putt at the last
Blew away the past
For a new dot record, twenty two!

My index is edging up and Mike’s is edging down but I think that trend is about to change…

His index appeared to be closing
But reality showed it’s just posing.
One record score
Will not close the door.
To catch me he’s still presupposing.

There was a lot of whining by Scott McCarron about Phil’s wedges. I have a message for Scott…

To much whining about clubs Phil uses
And “spirit of the rule” he abuses.
If it’s legal I say
Let the man play
With any damn club that he chooses!

Finally, one of our ’significant others’ still has trouble with some of the general aspects of the game…

On the green he had tried to convey
We were just about done for the day.
“We’re on eighteen my dear”
To which she answered with cheer,
“How many do you have left to play?”

and not tennis…

or swimming!