Golf Limerick Poems » Golf Courses

Myrtle Beach Golf

Mike — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 19:27:59 +0000

Getting to Myrtle Beach from the San Francisco Bay area is such a pain. It’s two legs minimum and this year a red-eye in order to use frequent flyer miles. Of course, once we’re there, all is forgiven…

We got in the next day at eleven,
A red-eye to reach golfer heaven.
We’re in Myrtle beach
With my first round a peach,
I carded a seventy-seven.

Myrtle Beach is all about golfing and drinking, and drinking and golfing, and golfing and drinking, and…you get the picture…

We don’t play for applause or the cheers
But instead, the music to our ears,
Is popping the top
Outside the snack shop
On a fresh, new iced bag-o-beers.

For some reason, Myrtle Beach always brings out the theatrics in Jeff. This year it was a bitter dispute with a hybrid…

It soared thru the air with such height
‘Tis a shame it was such a short flight.
But clubs cannot fly
And I heard no good-bye
As it splashed and then sunk out of sight.

Mike’s last putter lesson from Stevie paid big dividends in Myrtle although we also suspect his Dad’s unfailing attendance at church…

Mike’s putter this week was on fire
As if from a new found desire.
But always there’s mention
Of divine intervention,
Was it Stevie or someone else higher?

Thanks to Mark who suggested this topic. I’m quite proud of this one…

First Tiger and Hank had a breakup
And then Mike and Joey, a shakeup.
But when Jeff said good-bye
To his bottle of Skyy,
He just bought another to makeup.

Sloppy Winter Golf is Still Golf

Mike — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:14:39 +0000

It’s been a wet couple of weeks but we managed some golf anyway. The biggest problem was the sloppy condition of the course. Any shot landing in deep grass was plugged! The other problem was…

This winter golf leaves my game flat
As the ball often lands with a splat.
But the worst thing of all
Is when you can’t see the ball,
‘Cause the fog makes you blind as a bat.

I didn’t let the conditions or a bad hangover affect my game last weekend…

His putting stroke let him accrue
As hole after hole it grew,
’til a putt at the last
Blew away the past
For a new dot record, twenty two!

My index is edging up and Mike’s is edging down but I think that trend is about to change…

His index appeared to be closing
But reality showed it’s just posing.
One record score
Will not close the door.
To catch me he’s still presupposing.

There was a lot of whining by Scott McCarron about Phil’s wedges. I have a message for Scott…

To much whining about clubs Phil uses
And “spirit of the rule” he abuses.
If it’s legal I say
Let the man play
With any damn club that he chooses!

Finally, one of our ’significant others’ still has trouble with some of the general aspects of the game…

On the green he had tried to convey
We were just about done for the day.
“We’re on eighteen my dear”
To which she answered with cheer,
“How many do you have left to play?”

Christmas Golf

Mike — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 00:56:44 +0000

It’s always good to be playing golf around the Christmas holiday…

We’re golfing ’round Christmas so lets
Enjoy the good mood it begets.
I’ll share with my bro’s
Some hearty ho, ho’s
As soon as they pay off their bets!

Of course, nothing seems to affect Jeffery’s game…

A golfer named Jeffery was due
To play a good round but he knew,
Regardless his game
The scores were the same,
Ninety-two, ninety-two, ninety-two.

or Mike’s dogged pursuit of a better game (or more specifically, better than mine)…

Mike has a new swing that transfers
The “power within” that occurs
When mechanics improve,
But his score will not move
‘Til he starts to record some more GIRs.

or my continuing masochistic relationship with Boulder Ridge…

Boulder Ridge has continued its blight
Of my golf game which failed to ignite.
Last summer the heat
Was a challenge to beat
Now December brings with it frost bite.

Finally, we found Santa the day after Christmas and he’s not driving a Titleist…

Those Reindeer, spoiled and hard startin’
Are stubborn, messy and fartin’.
So when Christmas is done
And it’s time for my fun
I go cruise in my Aston Martin.

It’s All About the Look

Mike — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:46:41 +0000

Beautiful weather for golf this weekend! The only thing more stunning was the golf attire. Jeffery was looking dapper in new duds thanks to a gift-certificate-at-the-pro-shop prize, and Mark had on some wild-ass fluorescent color you only wear when you dress in the dark. Limericks for all!

Mark hit a good shot into the par 3 16th……

His shot from the tee box conveyed
A left to right path as a fade.
A birdie with dots
To follow that shot?
For sure…if the putt had been made.

Jeff not only had new duds but lessons as well…..

From a tourney, Jeff brought new techniques
For his short game that needed some tweaks.
He played well today
But it’s almost cliché
He’ll forget in another two weeks.

And the other Mike? Well…he was out dressed and outplayed…..

Mike’s game was as rough as his stubble
With his match sinking deep into trouble.
Each hole over par,
As his putts missed so far
That he must have been seeing things double.

And finally, another offer to play Boulder Ridge but I have a schedule conflict…..

I thank you for the offer to play
And it grieves me in having to say,
Though your course is pure bliss
I’m afraid I can’t miss
My proctology exam that day.

Presidents Cup Week

Mike — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:56:06 +0000

We played a round (not cheap!) at the Olympic Club this week. Tough course! It hurt both me and my score…

The Olympic Club gave me a fit.
Mostly to do with my chips.
I chunked way too many
And added aplenty,
To a score I refuse to admit.

I’ve injured my elbow, it’s true.
The pain in the morning, it grew.
So I’m sleeping in late,
And fondling my mate.
That tee time for three? Make it two.

Mike was very gracious in getting us tickets for the Presidents Cup…

The Presidents Cup is in town
So I’m thinking to maybe head down,
To watch it outside.
But viewing it live,
Means seeing so few shots per round.

John thought that he might have to plead,
But his ticket is now guaranteed.
Perhaps a bit brash
Mike said unabashed,
“You are so lucky you know me.”

Of course, no week is complete without a little ‘man love’ thrown in…

The talk about Joey is growing.
Mike’s back from his lessons all knowing.
But what of his game,
Improving?…the same?
It’s hard to see which way he’s going.

The vocabulary of Mike, it’s true,
Has taken a turn towards the blue.
But he stills plays a part
That’s special in my heart.
Here’s a big, fat, sweet FU for you!